On average, it takes a woman seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship.
According to statistics provided by the National Domestic Violence Hotline, despite wanting to leave, many women find themselves feeling as though they are unable to because of lack of financial stability, family support or a multitude of other reasons.
After finding the courage to leave an abusive relationship for good, a local woman and her young son found themselves crashing on the couch of a trusted friend. Unsure of where to go next, Terri discovered Transitional Housing of Steele County through the Crisis Resource Center of Steele County. With their help, she was able to find stability.
It was an altercation that left Terri’s ex-boyfriend in jail when she finally found the courage and opportunity to leave and stay gone.
“When I left I had nowhere to go,” she said. “I reached out to the Crisis Resource Center and then Transitional Housing reached out to me, and we were just waiting for a place to open up for us to go.”
Before leaving the relationship, Terri was a stay-at-home mom and her ex controlled all the finances.
“He was the breadwinner and I stayed home with our son,” she said. “I didn’t have a job and I didn’t have a lot of the financial skills you need to be on your own because before I lived with my ex, I lived with my dad and he handled all the bills and financial things, too.”
Through the Transitional Housing program, Terri and her son were able to live in a townhome and with the assistance and guidance of workers at Transitional Housing, Terri learned how to become financially stable to support her family.
“I moved a couple times throughout the two year program, but they really helped get me back on my feet,” she said.
The Transitional Housing Program allows individuals and families rent assistance and case management for up to two years. The client is able to advocate for themselves and largely remain in control over the apartment they live in by providing a security deposit and first month’s rent.
The case manager and client fill out budgeting worksheets together and have reevaluations every few months, and gradually the amount of assistance is decreased, so the client is able to become fully self-sufficient in managing their finances.
“I was able to find a good paying job as a receptionist,” Terri said. “I love my job and I was able to purchase a house this year too. I don’t think I could have done any of this without the help of the crisis center and Transitional Housing.”
Terri plans to expand on her skills and is considering attending college to pursue a degree in business administration.
“The CRC and Transitional housing where there to help me every step of the way. They’re very knowledgeable and because I came from a domestic situation they had me set up with a specialist who helped me through court and was just there to talk to me if I needed someone to listen,” she said. “I didn’t know there were so many resources out there. I think that’s why it took me so long to leave because he controlled everything and I thought if we live we will have nothing.”
A 2018 study conducted by the Wilder Foundation estimated that 19,600 Minnesotans experienced homelessness on any given night in 2018. The foundation conducts studies every three years, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the next study will be in 2023. Roughly 350 of those were in Steele County, according to Julie Anderson, executive director of Transitional Housing of Steele County.
Experiencing homelessness isn’t only cardboard boxes and tents under a bridge, Transitional Housing Executive Director Julie Anderson said. Many people who experience homelessness in Steele County are “couch hopping” or sleeping in their cars.
“Right now we have 20 people in our transitional housing program and we help on average four people a month with our eviction prevention program,” she said.
For the last two years, the primary fundraising for Transitional Housing went virtual, but they were still able to meet about 60% of their $100,000 goal.
“We usually do a breakfast in the fall and we have people share their personal stories and we’re hoping to go back to in person this year,” Anderson said. “People can still donate whenever and every penny helps someone in the community and we do have such a great and supportive community.”
